My Romance with Yoga

I heard the words awkward, clumsy, skinny. “Its okay, your brother’s the athlete of the family.” “You are really good at the violin.” The recording in my head was going full blast the first time I tried yoga. No wonder this isn’t going well, I thought. Everyone else must be athletic.

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I had thought about yoga on and off for such a long time. Here I was for my first time trying it at a workplace wellness class. So disappointing. I didn’t feel a sense of peace. I just felt awkward. Maybe it wasn’t for me. Yes, I have been accused of romanticizing things. Maybe even laughingly told I had “hallmarked it” since I was known for loving all things Hallmark. I had probably done that here too.

When I was raising my children and racing around to get from work to home in time to get dinner on the table, I remember thinking how much I would probably love yoga. If only I had the time. The postures seemed so beautiful and I could imagine them in my head to music as a dance you would want to watch again and again. A beautifully choreographed dance that flowed with energy.

I studied yoga on and off before I actually tried it. I had learned that the postures were only a piece of the story. The 8 limbs of yoga…..doesn’t that sound like something so special? Yoga was a way to live your life. The more I read and learned, the more questions I had. I snuck out at lunch time for meditation classes. I read books that made me understand the phrase non-violence in a whole new way. Yoga continued to fascinate me as I studied it. I felt at times I was thirsty for knowledge.

I couldn’t give up on yoga yet so I went back to a couple more workplace wellness events. One class used a fitness ball in the course of doing a plank. My ball, of course, flew out from under my legs and I am just thankful no one was hurt. Enough said about that. I am happy to say that I thought it was funny and didn’t let it stop me. Luckily a coworker who had been doing yoga for many years heard my frustration and invited me to go with her to a yoga class.

It turns out I love yoga as much as I thought I would. I have done yoga in gymnasiums, elementary schools, yoga studios, basements, my bedroom, my backyard. Room temperature, warm, hot. I love it all and meet the most amazing people. You know what else? It turns out that yoga helped me see that I am capable of anything I put my mind to. Not athletic? Maybe not, but the next thing you know I tried power walking, and soon was doing 5K races, a 20K, and even a muddy obstacle course. I laugh thinking about a recent summer when my sister, half-sister, and I visited our brother in another state. He proposed we try the standup paddleboard. The sisters looked at each other and both said I should go first since I was the athlete in the family. I will treasure the look on my brother’s face always.

After all these years, I have had my aha moments in yoga this past year. Perhaps I am finally comfortable in my own body. Maybe I feel safe enough to let go and actually experience the moment. Maybe its just the right combination of energy and love from my yoga teachers and the spiritual journey I have been on coming together. Walking into a hot room and feeling a sense of strength and balance. Making eye contact with fellow yogis and acknowledging that we are all part of an amazing family no matter how different we are.

To say yoga has made a difference in my life is an understatement. I even take a yoga mat with me when I go camping at this point. Three days without yoga? I don’t think so. I love sharing the beauty and benefit of yoga with anyone who will listen. I recently injured myself while training for a race that I wanted to do and was lucky enough to see an experienced physical therapist. As we finished up our sessions, he coached me about how to train without hurting myself on my next adventure. His parting words were “keep doing yoga, and listen to your body”. Words to live by.

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